eat this, Rachael Ray haters

those of you who know me - intimately - are aware of my undying, passionate love for and loyalty to the controversial food channel lioness, rachael ray. i have defended her against many a hater and, though i have never actually *tried* one of her 30-minute-meals (i prefer the complex and agonizing type of recipe that, more often than not, leads to me burning and/or maiming the food and/or myself in the process), i have indeed sat and drooled while watching her prepare gazillions of orgasmic looking feasts.

anyway, the woman is a goddess, and so i was among the millions who got pretty fired up about all the reactionary anti rachael propaganda that popped up all over the internet some months back. i respected her for putting up with all of it, and not changing her habits to please the douchebags out there who have a problem with her. i mean, if you hate her so much, don't watch her show. idiots.

but now she has outdone herself by addressing the bastards head-on in a sparkling first-person column in esquire. it's not very long, so you might as well read it, but for the more illiterate among you, i'll excerpt the best parts:

Am I trying to be Martha Stewart? I think I'm the exact opposite. She's made a wonderful living being fabulous at everything. I'm making mine being very mediocre at everything. But if you don't try to be all things to all people and you know you're good at only a couple things, you can feel really good about those things.

I speak in abbreviations. But if you had to stand there and talk to yourself for five years, you'd shorten some words, too.

and... my personal favorite, the brilliant intro:

The Rachael Ray Sux Web site? What am I going to do? Call them up and scream, "You have to like me"? Start a response Web site called "you know what you suck. com"?