separated at birth?

long-lost twins? sacha baron cohen and... david blaine. creeeeeeeeeeeeeepy...

(cue twilight zone music)

mild pretension in the west village

last night, i saw a mexican film. doesn't that make me sound smart? there were subtitles and everything!

the dirty little secret is, it was just like a spanish language version of all the stupid, lowbrow american shit that i love so much. but somehow, when you slash the budget, set it in a foreign country, and force me to read in order to follow the plot, it becomes high culture! ¡qué fabuloso!

as an added bonus, non-american movies (particularly this one, sólo con tu pareja, which incidentally, i highly recommend) seem to contain more casual profanity, more broadly drawn racial stereotypes and more graphic sex scenes than american fare. this one was about a deceitful womanizer who goes around nailing everything on legs (yes, you get to watch) before he finally falls in love and gets a taste of his own medicine. it's from 1991 (vintage!) and definitely worth netflixing. big thanks to my puerto rican roommate for providing me with an extensive knowledge of latin american profanity.

eat this, Rachael Ray haters

those of you who know me - intimately - are aware of my undying, passionate love for and loyalty to the controversial food channel lioness, rachael ray. i have defended her against many a hater and, though i have never actually *tried* one of her 30-minute-meals (i prefer the complex and agonizing type of recipe that, more often than not, leads to me burning and/or maiming the food and/or myself in the process), i have indeed sat and drooled while watching her prepare gazillions of orgasmic looking feasts.

anyway, the woman is a goddess, and so i was among the millions who got pretty fired up about all the reactionary anti rachael propaganda that popped up all over the internet some months back. i respected her for putting up with all of it, and not changing her habits to please the douchebags out there who have a problem with her. i mean, if you hate her so much, don't watch her show. idiots.

but now she has outdone herself by addressing the bastards head-on in a sparkling first-person column in esquire. it's not very long, so you might as well read it, but for the more illiterate among you, i'll excerpt the best parts:

Am I trying to be Martha Stewart? I think I'm the exact opposite. She's made a wonderful living being fabulous at everything. I'm making mine being very mediocre at everything. But if you don't try to be all things to all people and you know you're good at only a couple things, you can feel really good about those things.

I speak in abbreviations. But if you had to stand there and talk to yourself for five years, you'd shorten some words, too.

and... my personal favorite, the brilliant intro:

The Rachael Ray Sux Web site? What am I going to do? Call them up and scream, "You have to like me"? Start a response Web site called "you know what you suck. com"?

addendum

to my 30-by-30 list: i must make a blue-ribbon-winning pie.

my three cents

because, lord knows, i'm way too obnoxious to keep it at two.

i know the emmys happened the other day. i didn't watch. please don't tell me you did. but, i was excited about the festivities for the primary reason that i am, of late, fascinated with fashion (a story for another post) and i couldn't wait to check in with the fabulous bitches over at go fug yourself.

i do disagree with heather and jessica from time to time, but their commentary is always so clever and incisive that it doesn't matter, and i end up laughing with them anyway. but this time, i was disappointed. they picked on debra messing, whom i adore and who i think looked just lovely in her strapless gown. other than this point of contention, the girls dazzled as always.

and what about that tracey gold? looks like she's filled out nicely. though i hate what she's wearing, it's nice to see that the woman who inspired a generation of girls to make themselves anorexic is finally looking healthier (never mind that pesky dui incident).

it's not quite pong, but...

i have a total soft spot for those old-school web-based flash games, the ones that made the internet fun right after al gore invented it so long ago. one of my favorites, then and again now (with a souped-up but still really basic version) is garfield's lasagna from heaven game. i just remembered that garfield was one of my bookmarks some ten years ago (along with sanrio and a few others) and that i loved this game then. turns out, it's still crazy fun.

other super awesome ones:

little red square game (caution: really addictive)

copter (caution: outrageously addictive)

midget tossing (caution: not exactly politically correct)

let me entertain you

last night, i resurrected the months-dead tradition of the dinner party at my apartment, and quite by accident. i decided a while ago that i wanted to have friends over for dinner - two people who have recently moved to the city, who i thought would enjoy each other's company. well, one thing led to another - her boyfriend was visiting, i (without thinking) invited another friend, whose invitation required that i invite another friend, and another, who asked to bring a date, and so on - and i ended up feeding eight hungry people. all was well, though, because i had, in standard fashion, over-bought on the food and had just enough to feed everyone.

what did i feed them? well, i'm so glad you asked. i made my good old reliable seared salmon on baby spinach (with a tarragon-shallot cream sauce) and test drove a delicious sun-dried tomato risotto. for dessert, i tried out these figs with goat cheese and peppered honey, which turned out to be so-so (next time, i'll skip the pepper).

what's my point? my adventure in risotto got me thinking about the fabulous rice-to-end-all-rices (rice? rouse? eh). the roommate and i had made many variations of it before (our favorite was the hot-pink roasted beet risotto) but i hadn't done any serious research. so today, instead of working, i stumbled upon this poetic and informative tribute to the dish, which any foodies out there should read, but for those of you who don't feel like it, or are illiterate, here is my favorite quote:

You can't rush a good risotto, nor can you rush life. You just keep stirring. After a while, good things happen.

ah, so true.

to-do: 30 things before i'm 30

1. learn how to surf


2. learn how to sew


3. make something truly fabulous


4. write something real


5. sell it


6. get another degree


7. have some kind of romantic relationship


8. run a marathon


9. take up rock climbing


10. host some huge-ass, kick-ass dinner parties


11. live somewhere other than New York or Boston


12. meet some or all of the following people: ellen degeneres, margaret cho, amy sedaris, tina fey.


13. date and/or hook up with: someone from every inhabited continent, a policeman, a fireman, someone over 6'8" (my tallest so far, for the record), and someone famous.


14. appear in a major motion picture


15. own a house/apartment


16. have enough room in said home for the following: a sewing room, a ribbon drawer, a big and well-lit kitchen, a digital photo station, and a nursery.


17. have or adopt a baby


18. get some dogs and/or cats


19. come up with 12 more things